“HOW TO RESOLVE  MARITAL CONFLICT”

“On one accord, working as a team”

January 15, 2012

Allen McLauchlin, Pastor

A family friendly, never alone, purpose driven church  

Goal:  Come now, let us reason together,"  says the LORD. That they may all be one.   Isaiah 1:18; John 17:21; Can two walk together, unless they agree?  Amos 3:3 

1.  See your spouse as the  enemy and then apply Biblical principles. 

Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau. for I fear him, that he will come and attack me.  Genesis 32:11 

But I say to you who hear: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.  To him who strikes you on the [one] cheek, offer the other.” Luke  6:27-29 

If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:20,21 

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.  And they divided His garments and cast lots. Luke 23:34 

Stephen fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.  Acts 7:60 

I have not allowed my mouth to sin  by invoking curses upon my enemies.  Job 31:30 

 2. The strife between you and your spouse should stay between you and your spouse. 

He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear.  He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.  Genesis 33:2,3 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:31-33 

But you, when you pray, go into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who  in the secret place.  Matthew 6:6 

Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers?  The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already.  1 Corinthians 6:4,7 

3.   The aggrieved spouse must accept  a sincere apology with love and forgiveness. 

He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.  But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. 

Genesis 33:3,4 

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”  Luke 15:20 

But go  tell  Peter that I will meet him Galilee.  Mark 16:7 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.   Ephesians 4:32 

4.   The spouse( perpetrator) who is the offender, must go overboard to make amends and should neither ask nor seek  anything in return. 

"What do you mean by all these droves I met?"  "To find favor in your eyes, my lord.”  No, please!" said Jacob. "If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need." And because Jacob insisted.  Genesis 33:8,10-11 

But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.  Luke 19:8 

And Elisha sent a messenger to Naaman, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall] be clean.  2 Kings 5:11